Tuesday, March 28, 2006

helping to fight breast cancer


Click here to see the rest of this, um, news. He he...

Hat tip to Max, always on top of these things.

Monday, March 20, 2006

This one goes to eleven...

Hard to decide which of these is best (i.e. worst). I'll let you make up your own minds...






















Picking up the Gauntlet

Done and done.



How'd you like to be at that family reunion?

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Throwing Down the "First Official Album Cover Competition" Gauntlet


I challenge all friends of the blog, as well as all of you random folks who may have stumbled here, to post an album cover that can beat this one. What does beat mean? Like Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said when defining hard-core pornography, "I know it when I see it."

Oh, and despite conventional wisdom (and Pooh-Man's album) to the contrary, best cover does not necessarily mean the most hyper-sexual one. That being said, it could be. Only the competition will tell...

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Clash of the Titans!


Watch this epic battle.

The outcome is a little tough to take, and Buddy's demise might make a rematch difficult. But as the old saying goes, being alive is the best revenge. Is that how the saying goes? Close enough...

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Chef R.I.P.


Chef is dead!

At least I assume he is dead, it would be pretty brutal if the "South Park" guys tried to cast someone else to do that voice. But Isaac Hayes is out of the picture.

Apparently the Scientology episode from last season pushed Hayes over the edge. Hayes cited that the show inappropriately ridiculed religion as his reason for retiring. Which seems a bit odd, because I vaguely remember some other religious references creeping in every now and again over the show's history.

Therefore, three theories can possibly explain Hayes' departure:

1) He had never previously read any lines in any of the "South Park" scripts besides his own, until the Scientology episode.

2) He never saw any of the episodes of the first 9 years of "South Park", "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut", the "Passion of the Jew" DVD, or the Jesus-fighting-Santa "Spirit of Christmas" cartoon that made the show happen in the first place.

3) His membership in the Church of Scientology had something to do with it.

We may never know the answer.

Regardless, Chef will be missed.

At least I take some comfort knowing that Isaac Hayes intends to help disadvantaged children by joining up with Lisa Marie Presley to bring Scientology study techniques to inner-city schools.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Alternative 2005 Movie Awards 3



And here are my choices:

BEST PICTURE
“Batman Begins”
"The Constant Gardener"
"The 40 Year-old Virgin"
"Syriana"

(I haven’t seen “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” or “A History of Violence” yet but I’m willing to bet either film would fill the last spot on my top five. If I wind up not liking them, then throw in “Capote” or “Munich”)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR OR ACTRESS NOT NOMINATED FOR ANY MAJOR ACTING AWARD
Kevin Costner “The Upside of Anger”
Joan Allen “The Upside of Anger”
Owen Kline “The Squid and the Whale”
Michelle Williams “The Baxter”
The cast of “The Aristocrats”
Amy Adams for "Junebug." Yes, she was nominated for an Oscar, but she's so freakin' good in this movie she deserves another mention.


MOVIE THAT WAS FAR BETTER THAN I ANTICIPATED
“The Skeleton Key”
“Fever Pitch”
“Fun With Dick and Jane”
“Match Point”
“The Upside of Anger”

MOVIE I AM MOST GLAD I DID NOT SEE
"Hide and Seek"
"The Pacifier"
"Monster-In-Law"
"Get Rich or Die Tryin"
"Harry Potter and the blah blah blah"

WORST MOVIE EVER
"Aeon Flux"
"The Dukes of Hazzard"
"Elizabethtown"
"Kicking and Screaming"
"Rent"

MOST DISTURBING COUPLE


Tom Arnold and Maggie Gyllenhaal in “Happy Endings.” Yes, there is a love scene. I can't imagine anyone out there would care, but just in case: this movie also features a shot of Lisa Kudrow's nipple.

WORST MOVIE TITLE (based on the boxofficemojo.com list of 2005 releases)
Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress
The Beat that My Heart Skipped
Isn’t This a Time! A Tribute to Harold Leventhal
Gory Gory Hallelujah
Margaret Cho: The Assassin Tour
One Bright Shining Moment: The Forgotten Summer of George McGovern
The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio
Searching for the Wrong-Eyed Jesus
Winning Girls Through Psychic Mind Control (This movie stars Bronson Pinchot!)

Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Long War


I was not a huge fan of "The Colbert Report" when it first got started. But it might not be fair to assume that a show will hit its stride right away. There have definitely been more and more funny segments and interviews as the show has moved on. A major step in the right direction is that Colbert has started laughing at himself on air.

Colbert recently did a segment on the Bush Administration's re-branding of the failing war in Iraq. This is wonderful satire, that entertains and provokes on par with "The Daily Show" at its best.

Watch The Long War.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

No Relation Whatsoever

Watch this...


and this...

Monday, March 06, 2006

Natalie Portman SNL Gangsta Rap


The previous post about Natalie Portman's rap had a link to the YouTube site hosting the file. Apparently, the NBC legal team threatened YouTube, and the feed was pulled. I guess some free publicity and building on the Saturday Night Live fan base is not the NBC way. Not too shocking if you have watched the oxymoronic "Must See TV" lineup since Seinfeld went off the air. However, you still should see the clip if you have not yet. Click on Natalie to watch her rap (while the link still works!)

Alternate Alternate 2005 Movie Awards


BEST PICTURE
"Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang"
"A History of Violence"
"The 40 Year-old Virgin"
"Munich"
"Syriana"

MOVIE YOU SHOULD SEE IF YOU MISSED IT
"Ong-Bak"
"It's All Gone Pete Tong"
"George A. Romero's Land of the Dead"
"Hustle and Flow"
"Broken Flowers"

MOVIE I AM MOST GLAD I DID NOT SEE
"Rory O'Shea Was Here"
"Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous"
"The Prizewinner of Defiance, Ohio"
"Get Rich or Die Tryin"
"39 Pounds of Love"

MOVIE SO BAD IT MADE ME ANGRY
"The Chumscrubber"
"Four Brothers"
"The Brothers Grimm"
"In Her Shoes"
"Shopgirl"

THE MOST BIZARRE AND/OR CREEPY PERFORMANCE OF THE YEAR
Tim Robbins in "War of the Worlds"
Tony Danza in "Crash"

Darth Vader's "Nooooooooooo..." in "Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith"

Woody Harrelson in "The Prizewinner of Defiance, Ohio" (from what I saw in the trailer)

Steve Martin in "Shopgirl"

* A five-way tie!

Alternate Academy Awards



I live in my own little fantasy world. It's a world where President Gore and Vice President Redford are securing world peace and switching us to renewable energy sources, a world where I always beat Sam at Mario Kart, and a world where I get to pick the Oscar nominees for the year. My alternate ceremony took place yesterday at the Tiki bar, and was hosted by Andrew Dice Clay. The winners for each category are highlighted...

BEST PICTURE:
Good Night, and Good Luck
Grizzly Man
A History of Violence
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
The White Diamond

BEST DIRECTOR:
Gregg Araki, "Mysterious Skin"
George Clooney, "Good Night, and Good Luck"*
David Cronenberg, "A History of Violence"
Werner Herzog, "Grizzly Man"
Werner Herzog, "The White Diamond"

BEST ACTRESS:
Maria Bello, "A History of Violence"
Q'orianka Kilcher, "The New World"
Rachel McAdams, "Red Eye"
Sarah Silverman, "Jesus is Magic"
Reese Witherspoon, "Walk the Line"

BEST ACTOR:
Eric Bana, "Munich"
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, "Mysterious Skin"
Heath Ledger, "Brokeback Mountain"
David Strathairn, "Good Night, and Good Luck"
Timothy Treadwell, "Grizzly Man"

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Catherine Keener, "Capote"
Catherine Keener, "The 40 Year Old Virgin"
Jessica Lange, "Broken Flowers"
Michelle Monaghan, "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang"
Mary Lynn Rajskub, "Mysterious Skin"

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:
Graham Dorrington, "The White Diamond"
Ed Harris, "A History of Violence"
Sid Haig, "The Devil's Rejects"
Mickey Rourke, "Sin City"
Bill Sage, "Mysterious Skin"

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:
George Clooney and Grant Heslov, "Good Night, and Good Luck"
Werner Herzog, "Grizzly Man"
Shane Black, "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang"
Miranda July, "Me and You and Everyone We Know"
Noah Baumbach, "The Squid and the Whale"

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:
William Wisher & Caleb Carr, "Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist"
Josh Olson, "A History of Violence"
Peter Jackson et al, "King Kong"
Tony Kushner & Eric Roth, "Munich"
Gregg Araki, "Mysterious Skin"

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Bet the Farm...Your Guaranteed Oscar Winners


I thought I'd publish my picks, so the rest of you can empty your bank accounts into Oscar pools and reap the rewards of my famed Academy Awards instincts. It should be noted that these picks are of the nominees that will win, not necessarily the ones that should win. Also, the fact that I have not seen any of the shorts should not hamper my ability to pick films that just feel like winners.

BEST PICTURE
"Brokeback Mountain," Diana Ossana and James Schamus, producers
"Capote," Caroline Baron, William Vince and Michael Ohoven, producers
"Crash," Paul Haggis and Cathy Schulman, producers
"Good Night, and Good Luck," Grant Heslov, producer
"Munich," Kathleen Kennedy, Steven Spielberg and Barry Mendel, producers

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams, "Junebug"
Catherine Keener, "Capote"
Frances McDormand, "North Country"
Rachel Weisz, "The Constant Gardener"
Michelle Williams, "Brokeback Mountain"

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
George Clooney, "Syriana"
Matt Dillon, "Crash"
Paul Giamatti, "Cinderella Man"
Jake Gyllenhaal, "Brokeback Mountain"
William Hurt, "A History of Violence"

BEST ACTRESS
Judi Dench, "Mrs. Henderson Presents"
Felicity Huffman, "Transamerica"
Keira Knightley, "Pride & Prejudice"
Charlize Theron, "North Country"
Reese Witherspoon, "Walk the Line"

BEST ACTOR
Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Capote"
Terrence Howard, "Hustle & Flow"
Heath Ledger, "Brokeback Mountain"
Joaquin Phoenix, "Walk the Line"
David Strathairn, "Good Night, and Good Luck"

BEST DIRECTOR
Ang Lee, "Brokeback Mountain"
Bennett Miller, "Capote"
Paul Haggis, "Crash"
George Clooney, "Good Night, and Good Luck"
Steven Spielberg, "Munich"

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Paul Haggis and Bobby Moresco, "Crash"
George Clooney and Grant Heslov, "Good Night, and Good Luck"
Woody Allen, "Match Point"
Noah Baumbach, "The Squid and the Whale"
Steven Gaghan, "Syriana"

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana, "Brokeback Mountain"
Dan Futterman, "Capote"
Jeffrey Caine, "The Constant Gardener"
Josh Olson, "A History of Violence"
Tony Kushner and Eric Roth, "Munich"

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
"Don't Tell" (Italy)
"Joyeux Noël" (France)
"Paradise Now" (Palestine)
"Sophie Scholl - The Final Days" (Germany)
"Tsotsi" (South Africa)

BEST ANIMATED FILM
"Howl's Moving Castle," Hayao Miyazake
"Tim Burton's Corpse Bride," Tim Burton and Mike Johnson
"Wallace & Grommit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit," Nick Park and Steve Box

BEST ART DIRECTION

"Good Night, and Good Luck," Art Direction: Jim Bissell; Set Decoration: Jan Pascale
"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," Art Direction: Stuart Craig; Set Decoration: Stephenie McMillan
"King Kong," Art Direction: Grant Major; Set Decoration: Dan Hennah and Simon Bright
"Memoirs of a Geisha," Art Direction: John Myhre; Set Decoration: Gretchen Rau
"Pride & Prejudice," Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
"Batman Begins," Wally Pfister
"Brokeback Mountain," Rodrigo Prieto
"Good Night, and Good Luck," Robert Elswit
"Memoirs of a Geisha," Dion Beebe
"The New World," Emmanuel Lubezki

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," Gabriella Pescucci
"Memoirs of a Geisha," Colleen Atwood
"Mrs. Henderson Presents," Sandy Powell
"Pride & Prejudice," Jacqueline Durran
"Walk the Line," Arianne Phillips

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
"Darwin's Nightmare," Hubert Sauper
"Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room," Alex Gibney and Jason Kliot
"March of the Penguins," Luc Jacquet and Yves Darondeau
"Murderball," Henry-Alex Rubin and Dana Adam Shapiro
"Street Fight," Marshall Curry

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
"The Death of Kevin Carter: Casualty of the Bang Bang Club," Dan Krauss
"God Sleeps in Rwanda," Kimberlee Acquaro and Stacy Sherman
"The Mushroom Club," Steven Okazaki
"A Note of Triumph: The Golden Age of Norman Corwin," Corinne Marrinan and Eric Simonson

BEST FILM EDITING
"Cinderella Man," Mike Hill and Dan Hanley
"The Constant Gardener," Claire Simpson
"Crash," Hughes Winborne
"Munich," Michael Kahn
"Walk the Line," Michael McCusker

BEST MAKEUP
"The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe," Howard Berger and Tami Lane
"Cinderella Man," David Leroy Anderson and Lance Anderson
"Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith," Dave Elsey and Nikki Gooley

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
"Brokeback Mountain," Gustavo Santaolalla
"The Constant Gardener," Alberto Iglesias
"Memoirs of a Geisha," John Williams
"Munich," John Williams
"Pride & Prejudice," Dario Marianelli

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
"In the Deep" from "Crash," Music by Kathleen "Bird" York and Michael Becker; Lyrics by Kathleen "Bird" York
"It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" from "Hustle & Flow," Music and Lyrics by Jordan Houston, Cedric Coleman and Paul Beauregard
"Travelin' Thru" from "Transamerica," Music and Lyric by Dolly Parton

BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM
"Badgered," Sharon Colman
"The Moon and the Son: An Imagined Conversation," John Canemaker and Peggy Stern
"The Mysterious Geographic Explorations of Jasper Morello," Anthony Lucas
"9," Shane Acker
"One Man Band," Andrew Jimenez and Mark Andrews

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM
"Ausreisser (The Runaway)," Ulrike Grote
"Cashback," Sean Ellis and Lene Bausager
"The Last Farm," Rúnar Rúnarsson and Thor S. Sigurjónsson
"Our Time Is Up," Rob Pearlstein and Pia Clemente
"Six Shooter," Martin McDonagh

BEST SOUND EDITING
"King Kong," Mike Hopkins and Ethan Van der Ryn
"Memoirs of a Geisha," Wylie Stateman
"War of the Worlds," Richard King

BEST SOUND MIXING
"The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe," Terry Porter, Dean A. Zupancic and Tony Johnson
"King Kong," Christopher Boyes, Michael Semanick, Michael Hedges and Hammond Peek
"Memoirs of a Geisha," Kevin O'Connell, Greg P. Russell, Rick Kline and John Pritchett
"Walk the Line," Paul Massey, D.M. Hemphill and Peter F. Kurland
"War of the Worlds," Andy Nelson, Anna Behlmer and Ronald Judkins

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
"The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe," Dean Wright, Bill Westenhofer, Jim Berney and Scott Farrar
"King Kong," Joe Letteri, Brian Van't Hul, Christian Rivers and Richard Taylor
"War of the Worlds," Dennis Muren, Pablo Helman, Randy Dutra and Daniel Sudick

Friday, March 03, 2006

Sweet-Ass Michel Gondry Music Video


I've had the "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" dvd for a long time, but never checked out the bonus features. Included is a music video that director Michel Gondry made for "Light and Day", the song by the Polyphonic Spree. The video is fantastic!

The concept is to take footage from the film, but to cover the actors' mouths with mouths singing along to the song. Oh, and occasionally inanimate objects grow mouths and sing along, too. It is sometimes bizarre, sometimes disconcerting, but definitely clever and enjoyable.

Watch the video